Lor, Edge of Eternity (Max)

Max was born on January 10, 2009.

At least that’s what I decided. I got him in mid-March at about 9 weeks from a breeder in Ojai, California, named Andre Pinkerell. I subtracted 9 weeks from the day I drove him home to settle on a birthday of January 10th.

I always told myself, that as soon as I could, I was getting a German Shepherd. My best friend Dustin had an awesome Shepherd named Chopper. All of us loved Chopper. He was insanely good at fetch. We would set up impossible courses to see if Chopper would get the toy we threw for him. He always found a way! I lived at Dustin’s Mom’s house and rented a room for about 6 months to a year or so. Pat and Brett lived there too. I would take Chopper out on the skateboard and holy shit he was strong! He even attacked Max the pup when we introduced them. Chopper was such a beast and the first dog I loved!

I had done some research to find the breeder and everything checked out. I told Andre I wanted a male Shepherd and he said he had one and that this puppy had a great temperament. I drove out there in my Scion TC. I spoke with Andre and he said that this puppy who he had named Yasko vom Paukenschlag was the only one in the litter. Yasko had no brothers or sisters! When I first saw him I fell in love instantly. He was so calm. I remember driving him home. He was so tiny and just sheepishly stared at me the whole drive from Ojai to Camarillo. He was probably thinking, “who the hell is this guy and where are we going?” I still hadn’t picked out a name for him. 

When I got home in the evening I was still wearing my work clothes from when I worked at SAGE. My roommate Greg was home and the first to see him. We introduced Max to Cali, Jeff’s chocolate lab. Greg and I decided on his name together. I remember I suggested Maxwell and then we both really liked Max, so, Yasko became Max on his first night home!

March 2009 was a crazy good time for me. I had just come off a great sales year at SAGE, which led me to throw the “Pay it Forward Poker Tournament,” which went so well that I decided to get the tattoo… and Max. The tattoo could be summed up in an epiphany I had one night, a reminder to myself to simply run with my good ideas. I am so glad that I ended up pulling the trigger on the idea of getting Max too.

Max soon went with me to Thousand Oaks in 2010. I had saved up enough money years prior in a ROTH IRA delivering pizzas (thanks to my Mom for setting me up an account at 17 or so). In 2010 I cashed it out to buy the condo. I was incredibly close with my work colleagues and they threw me a big housewarming party there, and Max became a legend at SAGE. He was a rambunctious teenager and I have vivid memories of him in that condo, towing me on a skateboard down TO Blvd, and he was  almost able to fully scale my 5-6 foot fence. He would scare the neighbor kids so much that they would bring their friends over to walk by my gate. Max would sprint up and spring off the gate and his head would get a full foot or two above the top of the gate, barking like crazy. Nobody ever broke into any place I lived for over 12 years. Max was such a great watchdog.

I ended up winning Sales Rep of the Year for 2011 at Sage. I knew that the commission check was going to be pretty good, so in September 2011, I pulled the trigger early and traded in my 2006 Scion TC for a brand new 2012 Toyota Tacoma quad cab. That was my dream truck. I started financing it at Thousand Oaks Toyota that month with the intention of paying it off once the commission check came in March 2012. That truck ended up being an important but sad part of Max’s life. In December 2011, SAGE offered me a choice for my promotion to field sales, either Florida which was part of my territory already, or Northern California. I remember my boss and good friend Mark convinced me that Northern California made more sense. SAGE paid for me to drive up and find a place, and the only place I could find that would accept Max was in Benicia. I rented out the Thousand Oaks condo, and Max and I packed up the Tacoma and moved to the Bay Area in 2012. Funny story Max nearly got us evicted from that studio apartment!

Max and I went on so many adventures. I hardly knew anyone in the Bay Area and Max helped me so much to go explore. We moved to Walnut Creek in 2012 after 6 months in Benicia. I soon joined CrossFit Walnut Creek and Max would tow me on a skateboard about a mile each way to and from the 5 or 6 pm class, every single weekday and on occasional Saturdays. I would road trip with Max all the time in that Tacoma. He shed so much in the back though that I decided to order one of those T straps that secured Max in the back of the pickup truck. On July 31, 2012, Max almost died. I was toward the end of a long drive from Southern California, near Vasco Road in Livermore where Max must have seen all those cows and made a leap for it. When I’d drive with Max in that truck, he would often lie down where I couldn’t see him in the rear view mirror. I didn’t know he had jumped out. I drove another 30 minutes and I parked at my apartment in Walnut Creek and closed my door. Max wasn’t in the back of the truck, just the horizontal T strap. I was stunned. Immediately I knew he had died. Unless he jumped out on the city streets of Walnut Creek, he would have fallen out going at least 65 mph because I never hit traffic and rarely drive below the speed limit. I called my friend Marissa in a panic. We took turns calling 911, the police, and Animal Control. I decided I needed to retrace my drive and start looking for him. On that drive I got the call. “He is alive! He does not seem to be seriously injured. He is at the Dublin Animal Control.” They were ready to cite me or arrest me when I got there but then I explained to them the strap must have malfunctioned. The Animal control officer said he had seen that once before. I was in tears when I saw Max. His injuries were awful to see up close. But he didn’t break any bones. He lost about 5 teeth and the company who made the strap agreed to pay half his medical expenses. Seemed a total miracle to me to be reunited with Max.

After that, Max was allowed to come with me to the Sage sales meetings. He got approval for Mandalay Bay in Oxnard, ritzy Pasadena, and the Fess Parker in Santa Barbara, before finally blowing it in SB. I would leave him in the hotel room to go to an hour meeting then come back every hour to check on him. Max had serious separation anxiety and was barking while I was gone. My sales director got word of the multiple complaints and said, “ok that’s it. Too many people are jealous you’re the only one who gets to bring a dog and Max is crazy when you’re gone.” Max got exiled from sales meetings going forward but damn we had a great run. 

In 2013 I sold the truck to buy the Concord house. It was an easy decision. I met Cinder and years later we had Claire. Soon after living with Cinder she got Cody and now Max had a good friend in Concord and soon after, Santa Cruz. I took Cody and Max to the dog beach near Steamer’s Lane every day I could and we were lucky enough to be walking distance to that glorious place. I have so many fond memories of that beach with Max and Cody from 2014-2015.

In 2016, Claire was born. Max was so protective of her and so gentle with her from day 1. Claire’s first word? Max!

I left SAGE in 2016 after 9 years. I went into software sales for over 4 years. I ended up as the Regional Manager of the SF Bay Area, and that was why I bought the Benicia condo in June 2020 because Tahoe was too far for both work and civil co-parenting.  I was laid off in November 2020. 

In November 2019, I bought the Tahoe pad with my Mom, and also rented a room in Alameda. Max destroys apartments and even though I could have paid a deposit I decided to leave him in Tahoe on weekdays for what turned out to only be about 4-5 months. My Mom took incredible care of Max during that time. COVID lockdowns hit in March 2020. Thank God we were in Tahoe. We went to the river every day. But I started noticing Max’s legs were going out on him. In heavy snowstorms, Max really struggled to get through the powder. He was almost 12 and finally showing signs of his old age. About 6 months ago it became pretty clear I’d need to say bye soon, but I told my relatives I was going to get Max to age 12. He has what I am 99% sure is called degenerative myelopathy. The only way to know for sure is to conduct tests after they pass, which I decided wasn’t  necessary after watching dozens of videos. He definitely had DM. Unfortunately DM progresses pretty quickly especially for German Shepherds. Despite his body beginning to fail him and his legs getting progressively worse, he NEVER lost it mentally. He was as sharp as ever the whole time which made the decision that much harder. 

On Thursday January 7, 2021, I made a very difficult phone call. Max’s 12th birthday was coming up on Sunday. His legs had gotten so bad that I basically had to carry him places. That Thursday he was peeing dark blood. He had diarrhea seemingly every other time. He would wake up at 4 am every day panicking to go outside and began to have accidents in the house. It was finally time. That Sunday in Tahoe, Mavericks was 35-50 feet on Surfline! I thought “damn it I wish I was in the Bay Area.” On the Monday morning drive from Tahoe back to Benicia, it dawned on me, “I only have 5 days left with Max and I need to give him an epic send off.” I called his final week “Five Adventures with Max.”

On his last day after my Mom, Claire, and Murphy had said their goodbyes earlier at the river, I laid with Max alone for about 2 hours on his dog bed in Tahoe. He was in and out of sleep, but I could tell he loved laying there with me. When I was at the river with him alone earlier, I had looked down and his back right paw was bloody. I looked up to the sky and said to myself God give me a sign that I’m making the right decision. Show me a bear or something. I looked down at my phone and saw a picture of Metal Jesus posted by Angry Metal Guy. That was what I needed. I was carrying Max from the river and my neighbor saw me. She told me of the story of her daughter dying in a horrific skydiving accident in Mexico. We cried and hugged it out in the street before she gave us a ride home.

I set my alarm for 1:45 pm. I reluctantly carried Max to my car. One of the saddest things is that he was still completely there mentally and would’ve easily gone another 6 months, at least. I was unable to set Apple Maps for the ride. No chance in hell I could bear seeing the countdown on the drive to Sierra Veterinary Hospital in South Lake. I stopped at McDonalds and ordered Max a happy meal. The red arrow to pull into the parking lot took forever! I was thinking it would be cool if this thing was broken and permanently red. I’d have more time with him just sitting at the light. I parked in the very first spot, opened the tailgate and fed Max his last hamburger. He refused the bun but chomped down the patty. Didn’t want the fries.

I had kept it together at the vet mostly. The veterinary assistant showed us to the room. Max was tripping as he always hated going to the vet. The vet assistant gave him a muscle relaxer and Max and I got about 20 minutes together. I cried for the millionth time that week. Max had drops falling from his nose and it felt like we were crying together. The actual doctor came in to administer the final two doses. I had lost it by then. This was it. The doctor handed me a Kleenex box. It took a long time for him to go but it was peaceful and there was no struggle. The doctor said, “he has passed and that he had a strong heart, and that I had made the right decision...I’m so sorry for your loss.” I guess based on the strong heart comment that it took much longer than normal. He passed away around 2:45 pm. They gave me as much time as I wanted with his lifeless body. One of the craziest things I have ever seen…after his heart stopped, Max’s right eye was still flickering! I asked him, what’s it like up there? Do your legs work? How’s Big Bop? Is Bear there with you? It was so sad and so epic.

Max died on January 15, 2021.

Lor’s “Edge of Eternity” was the soundtrack to our final week. It is an incredible album and strangely coincidental with the album title.

RIP Max. I love you so much and am really going to miss you.